kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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