My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
