Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
