You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize