bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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