You made me cry and you don't even care
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
