if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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