At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
