If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
