..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
