He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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