I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
