he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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