everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
