If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Randomize
