Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
