my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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