Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
