the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
