Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
