My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
