we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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