Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
