You're so nebulous sometimes
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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