He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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