I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
