I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
