i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
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