She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
