My liver just broke up with me...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
fuck your aforementioned shoe
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
