He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
