You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
