question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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