Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
