I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
