Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
