just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
