Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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