I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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