I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We got so high we made milksteak
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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