Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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