dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
