and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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