that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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