I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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