if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
