Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
