There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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