what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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