But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
it glows. i had to have it.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I love you. Go after that dick
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
