This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
