i'm signing you up for texting rehab
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
