THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
