why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
