i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
