We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
