Non-Jews are for practice
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Quick, to the slutcave!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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