My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
