You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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