I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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