I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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