so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
