I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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