i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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